AITAH for refusing to do anything with Pride Month at work?

I (41M) ended my relationship of nearly 16 years at the start of this year when my fiancée (41F) came out as a lesbian after discovering basically my relationship is a lie. So to say I'm still a bit raw about it is a bit of an understatement. I'm not what you can say are all that bit LGBT friendly or like an ally at the present.

I started my job in November so my colleagues don't know me all that well, other than my relationship ended and why. It's a very corporate company and they do lots of events, raise awareness and do things for social movements.

I took last week off just to have it to myself - it would have been my 16th anniversary too.

When I came back, I was looking at my emails and reading the work intranet and I missed the monthly MD update (he does a video thing every month catching us up on all things in the company) and one thing were going to be very big on this month is Pride - raising awareness, doing events and shit like that. I fucking rolled my eyes reading it. When I carry on reading I see an invite from a lesbian colleague on a team we work with closely inviting us all to go to this event planned later on in the week for it. I turned it down as you can imagine. I'm already feeling like I just want to pack up my shit and go.

A bit later I was just chatting with my team while working and someone mentions the event and asks me if I'm going - apparently they are and are looking to go out afterwards to have a bit of. I say no, I don't want to go and people are all like come on it'll be fun. I'm like no, do you really think with my history I want to do anything fucking gay or lesbian related and leave it alone. My manager was trying to make light of it but also saying things like "you can't say things like that mate" so I stopped and everyone else dropped it but there was an atmosphere.

Not long after he took me to one side and said everyone was a bit shocked and I should watch what I say as I could get into trouble. I asked am I forced to participate and he said no but it's not a good look being the odd one out. And I need to prepare myself as there'll be a few more things this month, possibly some sort of inclusion event/seminar. I said I'm not going to that and he said it might not be an option. I laughed at that and said let's drop it. He agree but I get the sense it isn't over.

I'm feeling fucking annoyed about it all. AITAH for refusing to do anything?