can not “properly” grieving impact the way you grieve for others?

my dad died 8 days after i turned 16 and i felt that because i’m the eldest child, it was my responsibility to take care of everyone else. because of that, i didn’t properly deal with his death, i just kinda shoved it down like i do with everything else

2 months ago, one of my favourite actors died (val kilmer). and i’m still pretty upset about it. i dont know why. maybe it’s because everyone i knew (literally everyone. people i hadnt talked to in months) reached out to me like i knew him personally and it reminded me of when people did the same for my dad? i can barely listen to one of my favourite songs without at least tearing up.