Wvsu, merely a dream

I first knew this prestigious school when i was grade 10, i learned the existence of this school from my science teacher back when i was in roxas, he told me many things about west, how it molded him, the memories he cherished, and how it helped him overall. I was inspired, for the first time in my life i felt my purpose, i had a goal, and that goal is to be part of that institution. I tried getting into the SHS in wvsu but sad to say that i was still not capable, and i swore to myself that i will to everything that i can to pass when i become a college student.

I took the oppotunity my family have given me to study in a private school here in iloilo, a chance to become independent, a step closer to my dream. It was this time where i learned that being alone hurts but also the importance of being alone. I learned the value of integrity in my studies, i learned to be independent. And i realised that maybe, just maybe, i can do it.

I took many entrance exams, in UP, ISAT, CPU, SPUI. Just to have a gist on what will come out, just to have a gist so that i can pass WVSUAE, o endured the processes, i even got sick, just so for the reason that i can pass west. The day of the wvsu ae came and i took it, i waited and waied for the results, i was also confident that out of 120, i got 90+, for the first time i was confident, for the first time i thougt that my sacrifices werent wasted.

I was looking forward on getting to know what score i got out of 120, in my head, when i knew that i got a high score, i thought to myself that i have a chance, of the many people that took this path, i was one that have a chance. But sas to say that that wasnt the case. Out of 120, i got 76, just 4 above the passing. I was devastated. I thought to myself whether i am enough, what went wrong, questioned whether i could do it. I blamed myself for changing the answers, i blamed myself for being confident, i blamed myself. But i was grateful because i have this friend, she told me that i can do it, she told me that it wasnt over, and she told me to do my best and assured me. I was grateful to her because we only got close when we were in 12th grade, she was also a math wiz. She offered me that we can study with me para "makabawi ko sa nat" and i was grateful for that, it was the first time in my life someone offered me help, someone genuine, someone right by my side.

The days of the wvsu nat was approaching and so did the cpunat, when i took the cpunat and got my results, i analyzed what area was my weakness and i focused on it. I focused on studying single word analogy in english and also in math. I studied the day before wvsu nat, i didnt study hard because i know the tests cannot be reviewed. I took wvsu nat and the feeling of uneasiness came back, i again questioned my capabilities, "in the 550 people that took the nat can i make it to the 250?" I distracted myself and yes, i passed it. But for some reason i still know that i wont be able to pass. I compared my subtotal score to others, my classmate got 84% while i only got 83.228%, i knew that it wasnt enough, there are people whose score is 84 and above, i knew that people who have 84% and above are the ones who will pass and not me, an 83%. Still, in the interviee i hoped, i hoped that even though i have a low score, i hoped that this interview will change my fate.

When i was in the ampitheater i was reminded why i want to be part of wvsu, looking at the students, the proctors, the university, i was in awe. Ever since grade 11, whenever i pass by wvsu to go to my school, my heart would beat fast, i would always smile and hopr that i can be one of them someday, seeing the proctors smile and wishing us luck, telling us to be calm because they also went through it, it made me hopeful, it made me smile.

I am waiting outside for my turn, thinking that in this very moment, this will decide my fate, this will decide my future, this will decide whether my aspiration that later turned into my dream, will come true or not. The interviewers smiled and greeted me as i did the same, i would say that the interview was a piece of cake for me because to me, they questioned my willingness and my love for nursing and to this school, and i would say i told them what i felt, what i felt ever since i was in tenth grade. I remember vividly that i entered room 3 in 1:30pm and walked out with a smiling face in 2:00pm, i felt relieved, i felt i had a chance, i felt i can do it, and i felt there will always someone better than me. And i was right, i wasnt able to be in the top 160. I then knew that i was ranked (20*), malabo nakatama ang 200th, so right now wala nako gaasa.

If you read this till the end, thank you. Damo gahambal saakon nga, "may iban pa nga schools" or "if para saimo, saimo gd na". I agree but i still would choose west. But it seems that west did not chose me. This path hurt me and every day my heart aches, so yeah. What once my aspiration became my dream, and that dream is but a dream for me.