No connection with god

I’ve prayed so many times, asking to be guided in the right direction, to help change my life, find my purpose. You get the point.

It’s just annoying at this point not getting anywhere. I been stuck in this rut for so long. I prayed today in the morning again and nothing has changed. Infact I’ve never had a prayer answered or a “experience” with god. It’s always felt like a wall for me.

I’m a noob still in this spirituality stuff. But I’ve listened to Neville Goddard, conversations with god and power of now. They have resonated with me but in the years I’ve thru this unfortunately nothing has even changed. I just feel like I’m a low vibrational person

Today I was gonna buy a book with Jesus Christ quotes since I believe he was a higher dimensional human with good wisdom, but what’s the point anymore. Nothing will change unfortunately. I’m more than willing to do the work just can’t do this blind on my own but I’m not connected with god, I don’t feel anything towards and don’t expect anything when I pray. I’ve always been let down and I’m a let down.

Man I’m sick of this shit I just want some guidance is that to much to ask. God is ignoring me I’ve done my prayers and have doubted a lot but I’ve been given NOTHING to work with my whole life. Just endless problems of breathing issues, anxiety, eye muscle problems, fear, trauma and not being good enough.

What do I even do at this point. I’ve been at this exact situation like 400 times