Female Dommes, have you come across any subs that used to be bullies?

Hey all,

34M here. Name’s Tony 👋. I’ve been working with an amazing, and open minded therapist for a little over a year now and she has really dug up the root causes of pretty much all my problematic behaviors throughout my life. She does also know about me having a masochistic sexuality, and I have told her pretty extensively about my kinks that all revolve around humiliation (receiving). I’ve learned primarily that due to having a pretty bad relationship with my father, and not having a male role model I craved discipline. Humiliation = To be humbled :D

The sort of unique thing for me is that I was a bully for most of my younger years. Talking like 8-23 years old. I mainly bullied people out of my own insecurities. Obviously the main one, which is probably across the boards for masochistic men, was lack of sexual success with women. And on top of that having an incredibly good looking best male friend. I was bigger than him but he was way hotter, in way better shape, more talented at sports, and music, and he was also quite a bit smarter than me. He was incredibly good at pressing my buttons, but doing it in a playful/funny, and getting me worked up to the point I’d over react and make an ass out of myself. This was also always done in front of girls we were hanging out with. Basically I would always try to bully the really hot/pretty guys who weren’t as big as me. I’m a naturally pretty big, burly, and hairy type guy.

So again, he didnt do these things for no reason. I would always try to kinda “big bro” him because I was jealous of his success with women. However it backfired every single time with him totally embarrassing me in creative ways. He never played into my intimidation game an ounce and it drive me freaking nuts! Over time it did cause ED, a cuckolding kink, a ballbusting kink, and also just an inability to get turned on by anything other than masochistic fantasies where I was being humiliated, or beaten. On the other hand, I also became a way nicer, and more enjoyable person to be around to everyone in my life. I also became a significantly happy person, found hobbies I really enjoy, and started actually enjoying my kinks much due to having a greater understanding, and acceptance of them. In the long run there was a huge silver lining, and I came to realize my friend basically gave me the discipline I was subconsciously craving. Obviously in a very unconventional way, but it worked regardless lol.

I’m considering writing a book about my life with some help from my psychologist, and if I do I will definitely post it here. I promise it will not just be a book of jerk off material lol. It’s going to be a deep dive into my own psychology, and fragile egos of men who bully that are really craving something more. I hope it can maybe help some other guys out there, or even help single moms to understand the behavior of their sons if they’re having similar issues to me.

So to wrap up this little essay, I wanted to ask all the female Dommes of this group if you’ve ever had any subs, or have done sessions with any men who fit this same profile, and have told you anything about it. I would love any input you have on this subject and with your permission I may even use some of the feedback in the book!

Thanks all!

Best, Tony