I don’t know what’s worse, how much of my life this has taken from me… or that it’s all my fault.

I don’t have anything more to say. I’m just withering away at this point. It’s ruined my physical health (I don’t actually know that, I just know it’s not helped), not only that I want to give my dog the best life (he does, I just mean by me too) and help him through his own pain, take him for walks but I just can’t. I also can’t even touch him, I really hate myself for that (I already did but this is the cherry on top).

I miss not thinking 24/7 about bad shit happening, cleaning everything. It’s got a death grip on me and I can’t even go against it anymore. I ruined my own life and I can’t even get help (I have tried, still am). I’m just so ashamed at this point.

Anyways, thanks for reading lol.