Denied entry at a mission bar on a Monday evening because I appeared to be straight.

It was one of those rare evenings where my wife and I decided to walk around the mission with our baby in a stroller. We used to live in the neighborhood and when my wife saw her favorite taco joint she wanted to get some food there. It was taking longer than anticipated and as I wasn't hungry I was getting bored. My wife suggested that I walk around the neighborhood. I noticed a bar that I used to frequent next door which had since changed ownership and thought I'd get a quick beer. The door man gestured me to stop, and I instinctively reached for my wallet to produce my ID. He leaned in and said "You know this is a gay/lesbian bar right ?", to which I responded "okay, that's fine I'm just here for a quick beer." The door man then said "I can't let you in". The conversation then devolved into an argument ending with me not wanting to go in at that point but I also felt I needed to vent my frustration and voice that this was probably against the law and discriminatory in nature. I left at that point feeling hurt and unable to comprehend how this sort of stuff goes on in San Francisco, a city that celebrates its inclusivity and diversity and that too in a prominent neighborhood on 16th street steps away from the BART station.

I understand there is a gray area regarding "Rights of admission" that a private entity reserves, and to which the doorman promptly pointed to when I challenged their entry polciy. But my understanding is that it can only be used to keep belligerent folks out or to ensure some kind of dress code. I guess one could say I didn't adhere to a non-straight dress code ?

But my point is even beyond the law. I understand San Francisco has been an exemplary advocate for safe spaces for minority communities, etc. But I have never been denied entry at a gay bar in the Castro for example, when hanging out with friends. Nor have I tried to enter a bar/club hosting a themed lesbian night on a weekend. I was genuinely taken aback by the unfriendliness and complete hypocrisy of a bar supporting inclusivity (for a minority group) by practicing exclusivity. I get it, as a straight man I have a hundred other options. But here I am right now in front of your door out of pure random chance and this is how you treat a random patron ? I continue to feel hurt about the bad experience and want to understand how we as a city have become enablers of such practices. The bar has 4.5 stars on Google reviews with every negative review complaining about this exact thing. I did ask the door man "How did you figure I'm not gay?" To which he said "I can tell.".