I ended it – she’s heartbroken, I care deeply but don’t feel enough, and it hurts.

I (29M) ended things with my girlfriend (21F) this past Sunday after about 4 months together. She’s kind, loyal, and completely in love with me – but I wasn’t feeling it fully. Something in me just knew it wasn’t right to continue. I wasn’t 100% in, and I couldn’t fake it.

Since the breakup, she’s been completely devastated. She’s cried constantly, hasn’t eaten, has had panic attacks, and hasn’t told her family or friends yet – because she’s still hoping I’ll come back. Yesterday she said her feelings for me have only grown stronger since I ended it. She told me: ”I can’t imagine a life without you”, ”I love you so much”, ”Is there no chance we can be together?”, ”Can I never meet you again”? I had a hard time sleeping toninght, i have never cried so much. Her words keep echoing in my head.

The truth is, I do care about her. I love her in a way – but not in the way she deserves. I know it wouldn’t be fair to stay when I’m not fully emotionally present. She deserves someone who chooses her without hesitation. That’s not where I am, and I have to be honest about that.

We agreed on no contact until Thursday. Then on Friday, we’re meeting one last time for a quiet, early dinner and a walk – a final goodbye. She really wanted to see me one more time, just to be near me. I know it might not be the healthiest choice – maybe it’s even selfish or confusing – but I also feel she’s worth that one last moment of presence, care, and closure. Has anyone else been in this situation – where you care deeply but don’t feel enough?

And if you’ve had a “last goodbye,” did it help you or hurt more? I’d really appreciate honest perspectives.

This is the worst thing I’ve ever been through. I’ve never felt this bad before. I can’t even imagine how awful she must be feeling, and I feel so guilty. I just wish things were different.