lied to LOML and guilt is killing me

After my ex and I broke up, I hooked up with other people. Later on, we met up to talk, and we agreed to have one last hangout. During that time, he asked if I had done anything with anyone else. I said no—but I lied.

I lied because I truly thought that would be the last time we ever saw each other. We weren’t together anymore, and I didn’t want to cause him unnecessary pain if we were just going to stay broken up.

But we’ve ended up hanging out again—multiple times—and every time we say it’s the “last time.” He asks me if i’ve done anything and I’ve kept saying no. At one point he got suspicious because he saw a bunch of guys snapping me, and I argued with him, insisting it was nothing. Just Snapchat.

But now the lie is killing me.

I’m terrified of losing our connection forever. I’ve always seen a future with him. We don’t work right now, but he’s genuinely the love of my life. I’ve never lied to him before—this is the only time our entire 2-3 years. but now idk what the hell to do.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? I just want advice from people who’ve been through something like this.