I can't hold on anymore

It's been like 3 months or more that I'm feeling this way I just can't do this anymore. My parents force me to get A but no matter how hard I try I just can't, my grades are falling behind, once a genius is becoming someone who barely pass. I'm feeling weak all the time and and bulimia makes it worse, I can't eat and after throwing up I feel so weak I can't do shit. My dad hates me always far away and my mother always overprotective, she'd faint if I come home by 30 minutes late always checking on me making a small thing into big matter and hitting me if something wasn't turns out the way she wanted to.

Things with my boyfriend also not going well I always feel like he might cheat and look at other girls like my father did to my mom. He assures me but still I don't feel enough and just cry everynight. I'm getting possessive for him and doing sh. I love him so much he does as well but it's also draining me. I can't let him go even if I should right now. he's the only sunshine right now. But he's also busy cause of his studies and have a clear goal and there's me who's life is turning upside down doesn't even know wanna live or not. I honestly feel like I don't deserve him, I don't deserve my parents. But he always says he's so happy to have me etc.

I don't know what I should do with my life I just wanna die but I also can't. I'm not finding any purpose in life for me, everyone have one but here am I barely surviving each day always feeling weak, overthinking, sh and crying to sleep. What should I just do I'm so done with my life.

Sorry if it's too long to read I just shared what's on my mind and I'm feeling a lot better. if your reading this part then you probably read the whole paragraph and I'm so grateful <3