I’m (29M) a little thrown off with progression with (30F)

We started going out in February. We live 1.5 hr away, she has a very mentally and physically taxing job… She is a first responder

She’s very independent. She’s been single basically for 10+ years… she’s really never had a relationship before. She’s been on more dates with me in the first month than she has in her entire life. She mentioned . So the fact that we are actually going out is a great thing in her eyes, and it’s very obvious she wants a future with me. She shows me the nice things her parents and her friends say about me.

She works a minimum 60 hours a week, rotating shifts, a busy lifestyle of sports and working overtime to pay off school and personal debt as she lives on her own now.

We were talking online for about four months before we finally met, at this point we have been sharing locations and it was obvious that we were exclusively talking to one another, and we have been official since March.

When we spend time together, I have a lot of fun with her. We have a good time. We share a lot of things in common that we want in life, interest, future events, dates, etc. things that we want to do. I’m very looking forward to our future with her if everything continues to go right, but that is where things are kind of confusing me a little…

It talk a while to try and find the time and opportunity to spend time together and then finally meet, and once we did, we did try to meet on a weekly basis, but depending on how her days off rotate it would be anywhere from 7 to 10 days in between dates… Not much we can do so be it

Almost 3 months official at this point, we have had sex once.. and usually we only see each other once a week, there are times that we had to skip a week because of Scheduling, but we usually try to text every day. I am definitely more free than her in my schedule allows me to be a lot more free with my time so I tend to try and drive up to her to allow her more time to do what she needs to do around the house, work, etc.. I do a lot for her. I try to meal prep for her, etc.. I really care about her and I know she cares about me, but she is in a tough spot of having to work as much overtime as she can to make ends meet and get this debt paid off for herself and her future

I actually brought this up a couple days ago, mentioning that I wanted to start spending more time together because I haven’t seen her in about three weeks, she went on vacation and then she got extremely sick… But I did pop in for an hour to drop off some things for her and we are Getting together this week. It’s just very tough because it is hard to try and find more than one day a week to see her, and I am OK with one day a week given it’s about 6 to 8 hours but at times sometimes it’s only three or four hours because if she has to pick up an overtime shift.

I just mentioned that we should make some time to cuddle and stuff because it’s been a while… Potentially hinting at sex etc. and she just mentioned that that she’s trying because she knows I’m a big physical touch person and she’s not, she believes she is undiagnosed with ADHD so it is hard for her to sit still at times, because she is so independent she is go go go mentality. -she also just mentioned that it takes time for her to get comfortable and stuff… Assuming she was mentioning when I brought up about talking about things that we like… Love languages/sex etc.

I really do want a future with her and I really do care about her and I’ve never wanted a future with someone that I’ve dated like this before even though things aren’t ideal at the moment, but we both know that we want this to work out and have a future.

I just find it very hard to try and grasp because I feel like there could be more opportunities for us to hang out and spend more time together, rather than focussing on the future, but given she works so much and I don’t want to disclose exactly what she does… Her first responder job is beyond draining and she does need time to herself which I totally respect.

TL;DR very independent busy gf- I’ve been starting to mention how we should be spending more time together and things will get a lot easier for us because I know it’s a very hard for her to open up when she’s been so independent for so long… on top of her busy schedule it’s just a very hard thing for her to adjust to .Basically this is a very slow pace relationship, and at times it does cause a little bit of resentment on my end wanting to spend more time and get the ball rolling… But I know she is trying, and I know it’s not easy for her… I’m just wondering if there’s anything that I can do if anyone’s been in this position that can try to help this progression to spend more time together and progress and evolve as a couple or any sort of feed back! We are usually doing stuff instead of being intimate with our.. I would definitely like some more intimacy and I’m hoping this gets more frequent in the future

I’m also not interested in anyone hearing that she’s fucking anyone else etc

EDIT: I’d also like to add that she has IBS so she does have pretty bad stomach issues. Every time we go out to eat or eat specific things, then translate to her being in pain the rest of the night.. which definitely can affect your sex life