A year ago I felt so much more myself then I do today. Slowly over 3 years my emotions and memories have all faded away. I have 0 connection to self anymore, and every day it gets worse.

I'm so severely dissociated, it's horrifying, it's gotten 10x worse in the last 6 months, and in the past year. I'd kill to go back to even a year ago / because I at least felt something, and even if my memories were far away, I had some access to them.

I can't live like this. The severity is so beyond words. I can't even articulate my experience. I'm completely dead, my brain is dead, my body is dead. I'm missing every single memory about myself. I have nothing. There's no point in living like this, I'm just done.

My felt sense of the world is completely gone. My memories are completely gone. Why am I getting worse over time? The fatigue, the nightmares and dissociation are getting worse and worse. Each month I am more deep in this then the last, when does this stop?

I've done so much therapy and medications. And I continue to get worse. I'm ready to just off myself.