I don't feel hopeful

Just ranting.

I genuinely don't see a future for myself and I'm scared to have any dreams or hopes.

I have a bachelor's degree in design and I'm currently studying for another one related to it but the economy in my country is so bad atm it makes me want to disappear. I feel like I made the wrong choice of continuing studying in the same field even though I'm not particularly interested or good at anything else either. AI is coming for my job and it's not looking good, competition is also high.

Every day I think about money, how I don't have it and how much my life would improve if I did. It all comes back to money. Money would give me stability and opportunities. And I'm so scared that I wont get a job from my field in the future cause then all of this would have been for nothing. And I know I can't work in something that I'm not passionate about or I will get even more depressed.

I struggle to be happy about the small every day things in life when I feel like so many aspects in my life need to be worked on at the same time. Mental health, relationships, finding work, improving my academic skills etc. I feel like I'm so broken in a way. That I was never meant to be here because I can't move on in my life. I feel like I'm behind. Everyone else that I know from my childhood is finding full time jobs, starting families and traveling. I haven't really accomplished much except for maybe a thesis.

I applied for therapy, but now I don't have the funds to cover it. It sucks so much. I've needed help for over 10 years now and when I finally started doing something about it, I can't even do it because I can't afford it.

I don't know what to do or where to start anymore.