How do i stop having these thoughts?

I am a guy, always been one, and i have never had any issues with that, until last year. I was watching a youtube video about some misogynistic guy, and i had this passing thought like " god, i hate being a man " after wich i joked, saying " what if i'm trans? " laughed and moved on. But these thoughts didn't leave me, they got worse. WAY worse.

Most of the time i'm fine. I live how i always lived and feel how i always felt. But sometimes, these thoughts appear and i start feeling miserable. Staring at my reflection, dissecting how wrong my body is, fantasizing about hanging with my sister and her girlfriend, but as a girl, the sheer disgust and repulsion i feel whenever my facial hair grows out, and that need to cut out my Adam's apple, or just wanting to die. So many times i went outside and my only thought was " how do these people see me? ". One time i went outside without shaving my mustache and i felt horrible. Always thinking " they look at me and see a man " " i am a man to them " " i look too masculine ". I've begun looking at female characters in media and wishing that were me. I remember seeing Noelle from Deltarune and how jealous i was of her. Even recently (just yesterday), i started playing Super Lesbian Animal RPG and i could not get past the intro sequence, because of how miserable i felt whenever i looked at the main character, thinking shit like " i want that life " " why can't i have it? " " why does she get to be happy? ". That's actually the reason i'm posting this. I am so tired of these thoughts and how they intrude on my life.

And to reinstate, i am a guy and it has never been a problem for me. I never really cared about my gender and shit like that. Most of the time, i feel okay and have zero issues with myself as a guy. LIke for fuck's sake people on the street constantly confuse me for a woman (i have long hair) and i feel nothing. So i know there is some kind of issue with me, and i honestly have no idea how to fix this.

(btw, i hope nothing that i said comes off as transphobic, and i am sorry if something did. I am a trans ally, i just know i am not one.)