Need Advice

Hi. Usually I wouldnt write on here but I’m just gonna try because this is my anonymous account and oh well.

I’m AFAB, I don’t know if I’m trans or not. I’ve identified as part of the community since I was 11, and I remember wanting to be a boy since I was like 9? But I didn’t rlly know what it was.

I know I experience gender dysphoria. It’s been really bad today and I think that’s why I’m writing this. It’s so painful, but then it just goes away for a couple of weeks and comes back? I’m not sure. And sometimes I’m fine with dressing extremely feminine (like when I’m going out) but it kinda feels wrong. I’m never happy about being a girl, I just tolerate it.

Sometimes I think I’m genderfluid (what I usually identify as) but it feels wrong rn (idk if it’s the dysphoria or what) I would just do anything to be a boy I hate this. I hate that I only get one life and I have to live it being a girl.

Sometimes to make myself feel better I’ll go online and have this fake boy account I have friends on and it makes me feel really happy. I just don’t know what to do.

And it’s weird to think some people are okay with being a girl? Like what do you mean some people never cry abt their gender?

And my parents aren’t accepting anyways-

Last time I tried to vent I got told I just needed to find god, so idk. :))