Can I be forced to go to court with abusive ex (eng small claims)

I’m currently being taken to small claims court by my abusive ex-partner over false claims that I have their belongings. This is not true. Our past relationship was extremely toxic and abusive, including threats of violence towards me and my child. I have an open criminal case against them for assault and revenge porn.

There have been two video hearings so far, both inconclusive due to my ex’s failure to provide any evidence. I submitted my defence via signed tracked delivery to both the court and my ex, costing me over £20. My ex falsely claimed in court they only received one sheet, and although the judge had clear postage and receipt evidence from me (including a photo with the court clerk), she still claimed she hadn’t received anything and was very dismissive. I was too anxious and intimidated to speak up, especially after hearing my ex’s voice. I followed up by email with further proof, including weight differences and pointing out perjury, but only received an apology and confirmation that my documents were found.

My ex is continuing to manipulate the process — for example, they recently sent me an empty envelope by recorded delivery, likely to pretend they followed court instructions. This envelope was also sent outside the required deadline. I’ve reported this to the court, but nothing has been done. The judge is clearly frustrated by the delays and has now ordered the next hearing to be in person.

Here’s my issue: I suffer from severe mental health and mobility issues due to abuse. I receive therapy, PIP, and medication, and rarely leave the house due to panic attacks and agoraphobia. I’m in the process of applying for a restraining order, but progress is slow. I’ve also contacted the lead detective on my criminal case, but they haven’t responded.

Can I be forced to attend this hearing in person, knowing the trauma and risk this poses? A physical confrontation with my abuser would be deeply harmful. Even during the remote hearing, I was asked invasive personal questions in front of my ex that I couldn’t answer. If they discover I receive PIP or other support, they’ve threatened in the past to sabotage these claims — they’ve made similar threats about my Universal Credit. Losing these payments would put me and my child at risk of homelessness.

I did email the court to explain this, and the response I received was, “The Judge said you can bring a friend.” That is not a solution. I want to preserve my dignity. I should not be forced to appear in front of someone who’s abused me, especially when the claim itself lacks evidence and seems designed to harass and control me further.

I am feeling incredibly anxious and overwhelmed. Please advise me if there’s anything I can do to avoid attending in person or protect myself and my criminal case in this process.