Waiting for tmfr is already killing me and I am afraid what will come after

I am 39, had a chemical pregnancy august 24, then tried for 6 months and get pregnant again. Was so happy to arrive to 12 weeks, however during my first trimester scan they found NT 4.12, missing nasal bone, low papp-a and high free beta hcg, all indicators for trisomies. I have done CVS (fresh karyotype cultivation) in few days and thursday recieved bad news that it is T21. We decided to go for tmfr, however I have to wait for final results (long cultivation) to be able to go tmfr according Italian rules. I am currently 14+6 and time is going by. It is two weekes I cried (we had 1:2 risk for T21 and left us with so little hope). I felt so tired and my tits hurt so much up to 12 weeks, but I do not know if it due starting second trimester or emotional detachment, but I don´t feel pregnant anymore. My baby bumb is already quite visible but I am thinking of me as just fat. I feel like I already have done tmfr, even though it is not true and I am terrified how it will be. I have no clue how is the procedure in Italy, I know that up to 15/16 weeks is it possible chirurgical procedure, and I am just hoping I will make it in time as I don´t think I would be emotionally able to go throw labor. I struggle to find a reason to get up from bed, i just want that everything is over as this situation is killing me. I am not even able to go to work as last week my collegues started to congrat me on my pregnancy (unfortunatelly in my work I have to communicate immediatly my pregnancy as I may encountre chemical and biological risks, so people working close to me have to be noticed as I cannot perform certain activities anymore. In addition, I work in large collective accounting for around 100 people and people just love to talk about others). I donť know why I am writing it here, i guess I just look for some confort and knowing I am not alone.