AITA for demanding my husband wear a helmet whenever he rides his bike

Hi all…

Husband and I are both cyclists. My husband insists he is “fine” without a helmet riding around our general neighborhood - a mile or two radius - to run errands. We have only one car, so the bike is his main mode of transport, and he is an accomplished former competitive road cyclist so he is very skilled on a bike. We have some more quiet residential roads around our house, but we live in a large city with extremely poor cycling infrastructure and he is almost entirely riding on city streets with “share the lane” paint as the only protection.

Tonight he came home from a night out with friends where a few beers were consumed at our local watering hole and he was not wearing a helmet. I have explained to him repeatedly in the past how nervous it makes me to know he is riding his bike without a helmet, and how I really really wish he’d wear a helmet 100% of the time. When he walked in the door with no helmet, I admit I lost my cool and yelled at him in a near panic. I told him that despite the fact that we were both so excited to see one another tonight and spend time together, I was too angry to be around him at that moment.

I think he believes I am being controlling or domineering. He says he will not commit to wearing a helmet whenever it’s “just around the neighborhood.” I think I have a good reason to feel this way. A few years ago, my husband was involved in a severe cycling accident about 7 miles from our house (outside his “errands in our neighborhood” bubble) - he slid on sand while cycling home from a bar and went down hard. He was not wearing a helmet. He broke 5 bones, underwent two surgeries, and had a severe concussion. I had to watch my brilliant, funny, calm, and thoughtful husband grapple with the emotional dysregulation, brain fog, and personality changes associated with a concussion for months. I was grateful he was alive and did not have permanent brain damage. It was the hardest time in our relationship, and it broke my heart to see him struggling and not be able to help.

I have tried to explain to him why I feel the way that I do - that he needs to be wearing a helmet 100% of the time he is on the bike. He says he uses the bike as his primary mode of transport and and it’s ludicrous to expect that from him. He is a much more experienced cyclist than I am and I tend to defer to his expertise regarding the cycling “world”. We are at an impasse. He will continue to ride without his helmet around the neighborhood. I will continue to be angry about it. AITA for making this demand? Is this an unreasonable ask?