I'm not coping with homeschooling

Due to the diabolical state of the government schools, I decided to deregister my son 4 weeks ago...2 days later someone close to me died...dealing with my son 24/7, mourning, chores and working has all just been too much...and I'm having panic attacks, I don't get any time for myself, I'm really stressed all the time.. sometimes I have to work until 2am and then my son wakes me up at 6am...I'm not getting any quality sleep.. not to mention the light in the mornings...my friend helps out but its just not enough...my alone time was my time. I love being on my own, I love quiet time..I love not speaking, I love the silence, I love running which I can't do now without an argument because he won't run with me, even though I'm training him I can't cope with the moaning and fighting!! So I'd rather not!! And then guilt sets in because I feel I should push him and im putting on weight because im not doing enough exercise! I can't put him back in state school because they insist on teaching out of date information and its just not challenging enough....I want him to go private but that means working more and I don't know if I have the strength right now...I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place..... Has anyone else felt like this or been in a similar position?