Missed opportunities because of my anxiety

Nakakapanghinayang lang. I bought the first timer promo in Electric Studio nung nagpromo nung May, para kako mapush na ko since gusto ko talaga ng spin classes and boxing. Kainis kasi naextend yung promo ng June haha. Pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin nagagamit at mageexpire na parehas kasi pag naiisip ko na magbook, ayoko na ulet kasi naiisip ko na agad na maooverwhelm ako kasi first time ko, wala akong kasama, baka mabobo ako sa equipment, parang sosyal lahat ng nagtatake ng class kasi mahal yung regular price so naiintimidate ako, baka hindi ko kayanin yung class kasi naglalakad lakad lang talaga ako and konting takbo. As in like 5KM for 50 minutes ganun. Sana magising ako one day na sobrang ganado ako (I experience this randomly) then hopefully I will book my first ever class with them. Haaaay. Yun lang.

Got diagnosed with MDD with anxiety and panic attacks way back in 2022 pero may ibang working diagnoses na binigay sakin ngayon from a different doctor (ADHD, BPD, among others) kaso tagal pa ng next appointment ko. Haaay