🏳️🌈 The Worst Eurovision Ever #2 - Semi-Final 1 🏳️🌈
Welcome to Les Clées, Switzerland, home of the second edition of The Worst Eurovision Ever! Last year, Nemo brought it home for the Swiss with their song "The Coke". Now, we have a fresh set of songs to choose the next winner from! But first, please give a warm welcome to out iconic host, Miriana Conte!
As the Swiss promote puberty education for teens, Miriana will open the show with a song about the female reproductive system! O-o-o-o-ovaries! Fa-Fa-Fa-Fallopian Tube! As she does that, I think it's about time to reveal semi 1's running order!
RUNNING ORDER
- Iceland - Scared of Heights but Hera is actually scared of heights so she spends the whole song screaming (Iceland 2024)
- Georgia - Echo but the lyrics devolve more and more into chaos until the song is just screaming (Georgia 2023)
- Ukraine - Bird of Prey but it's about a bald eagle and RAAAAAAH AMERICAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETRE (Ukraine 2025)
- Sweden - Voices but Tusse has schizophrenia and really hears a million voices, and just goes fully paranoid in front of the audience (Sweden 2021)
- Serbia - In corpore sano but Vatican City claims that latin is a holy language and Konstrakta ends up singing in Vietnamese (Serbia 2022)
- Romania - Playing With Fire but Paula and Ovi do and get third-degree burns, the rest of the performance is them screaming in pain (Romania 2010
- Italy - La noia but Angelina Jolie in a mango costume sings the song (Italy 2024)
- Spain - EAEA but the whole performance is EA Sports intro looped (Spain 2023)
- Lithuania - On Fire but The Roop are actually on fire while performing (Lithuania 2020)
- Austria - Wasted Love by JJ is sick so Natalia Gordienko sings the high notes for him (Austria 2025)
- France - Twin Twin performs the sequel to Moustache, titled "Goatee" (France 2014)
- Albania - Zjerm but Beatriçe is sick so it's just Kolë singing on stage for three minutes (Albania 2025)
- Greece - Alcohol is Free but they start giving out free alcohol, which security shuts down mid-performance (Greece 2013)
- North Macedonia - Circles but you test Andrea's limits and she gets pissed and storms off stage (North Macedonia 2022)
- Portugal - Ai Coração but Mimicat rips somebody's heart out on stage (Portugal 2023)
- Luxembourg - Fighter but Tali takes a 29 year break in the middle of the song (Luxembourg 2024)
- Poland - Solo but the crowd watched a cursed tape last week. The holographic Blanka crawls out of the screen and murders the crowd (Poland 2023)
- Croatia - The Dream but all the angel dancers are replaced by biblically accurate angels (Croatia 2019)
- Montenegro - Dobrodosli but you're not welcome and Nina tells you to fuck off (Montenegro 2025)
You can vote through this link. Please make sure you vote in every column (12, 10, 8 -1 points) before submitting, or your vote will not be counted! The top ten countries will advance to the finals, leaving the other nine in the dust. Now, are we ready? Let the Worst Eurovision Ever begin!
And happy Pride to my fellow queerios out there, y'all deserve the world <3
Posted Jun 13, 2025, 12:34 PM UTC