How do you keep going?

Hi all! I'm sorry about the length of that post, it's going to be quite a reading. I would like to know what your advices would be to get back on track, back on a positive mental state again. I was sexually assaulted when I was younger by an older guy, forgot about it for 5 years and it came back like water from a broken dam when the cops called me in to testify. My brain made me forget what happened until they called me. Turns out that the guy had 80 victims, all minors. I decided to press charges and the trial is going to take place in December. My lawyer said it was going to be a big big trial, couple of weeks long with heavy media coverage. Ever since I got the date of the trial from my lawyer, I have that void inside, I hoped and thought that it would relieve me or help me but it just numbed everything. I have a beautiful girlfriend, a loving family, do plenty of sport and spend most of my time outside, I shouldn't feel that way but yet I do, what can I do? I'm not angry anymore about that situation, just neutral, completely and totally neutral. I always thought I would scream and fight back but I'm just vanishing, silently. Does anyone know what works in those cases? Thanks in advance for taking the time to read that post and once again sorry about the length.