Thinking about not attending one of my best friends wedding

Not sure if I’m overreacting or what. One of my (26f) best friends (27m) is getting married in September.

I’ve been good friends with him since we met in high school. We did try “dating” when I was 16 but things didn’t pan out. He was exes with another friend of mine and when we wanted to date she ultimately got upset and I broke it off with an excuse because I didn’t want to hurt my friend.

Now he’s marrying someone (27f) who he loves a lot. I love her, too. We’ve all become pretty close and over time I got even closer with her than him.

Lately, I’ve started to realize she might not be as good a friend as I’ve thought. Thought maybe it was just in my head, but we maybe hang out once every six months since I live out of state.

I could be a little “much” to some people. I have a lot of big, personal issues stemming from my family and as a result I tend to hide away from people. I don’t keep a lot of people close but when I do it’s because I really value and trust them.

I saw her one time in person, and we were hanging out. I kind of spiraled and was going on a rant about relationships I’ve been having. Kind of got emotional. We were smoking weed and she told me I should stop smoking because “I don’t know if I could stand you spiraling out again.” I felt pretty bad and just stopped talking after that.

I’ve also noticed that when we’re alone, she tends to hear me out for things more than when her fiancé is around. I’m really into conspiracies, and once I brought something up in front of them both and she kept talking about how she knows more on a subject because of her degree.

While that might’ve been the case, she kind of just ignored me and would just talk to him the rest of the night. Sometimes I’d feel like a third wheel.

In another instance, I was talking about how social media can impact your attention in a negative way. How it can be addictive and detrimental to health.

She went on about how anything can be addictive, like working out and drinking and started talking about how she only uses her Instagram stories to post about important issues around the world.

I typically don’t do the same, but her tone felt like she was undermining me a little bit.

I understand how she feels given my history with her fiancé, but I maybe talk to him once a year when we’re not in person while I talk to her at least once a week.

Then more recently, I had to ask her when her date was going to be for her wedding and she was like “omg we didn’t tell you, it’s ____.” I’ve been offering to help out a lot for it cause I used to be a wedding coordinator, and even offered to do her makeup because I also have a background in that.

Just noticed she doesn’t really ever talk to me about how her life is going, and when I talk about mine I feel a little like an outsider.

Like when I vented once about a previous relationship and she just told me I “don’t have high self esteem and that’s why I end up in terrible relationships.” Which wasn’t exactly true in this context.

Lately I’ve stopped texting her about anything going on in my life, and have noticed that while I don’t talk to her, she has no problem sending me slews of random instagram reels even if I ignore them (don’t watch reels anymore).

Considering I’m not really close with my friend anymore, I’m thinking about not going to the wedding as I just don’t feel connected to them anymore.

Don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I’m the problem here though.