AITA for deleting my boyfriend's wife?

I (41F) am the captain of a Federation starship stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Obviously, I can't be dating a member of my crew (although I did have sex and bear children with this one crew member when we were turned into giant salamanders -- don't ask). So, I thought the universe was finally throwing me a bone when I walked into the latest holo-nonsense going on and meet a smoking hot holo-bartender (40M? Hard to say when he's technically just photons that started existing as a simulacrum of humanoid life a few days ago, but you know what I mean).

Here I am, feeling like I found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow when this super stud holo-Irishman starts hitting on me, giving me tea with a "hundred thousand welcomes," beating me at a game of rings, letting me cheat at arm-wrestling -- you know, all the really hot stuff. ❤️‍🔥

Just when things were getting really spicy, this ugly-ass ginger (40F in appearance -- but like an old 40, you know?) walks in and gives me the stink eye. Hot bartender calls her over and is like, "Oh, hey, this is my wife!"

I knew I should have just moved on and focused on the neutron radiation wavefront threatening to destroy our ship at that point, but I just couldn't get this holo-stud out of my head. So, I go to the holographic research lab and start telling the computer to adjust his parameters a bit (just the usual stuff: make him a bit smarter and more outgoing, fix that 5 o'clock shadow, add a couple inches to his height and half a dozen to his dick, etc.).

I probably should have just stopped there, but I couldn't help myself. I eventually told the computer to access his interpersonal subroutines and I'm immediately like: DELETE THE WIFE!

Then I go back to the holodeck and he's immediately all over me now that he's single. But after a few days, it kinda got too real, you know? Like I was just looking for a Celtic fuckboy to have some fun with every now and then, but then I find out he's totally losing his mind when I decide to focus on being the captain of a starship for a few days. It's almost like he needs someone to be like... a wife?

Anyway, some crew members tried asking me what's up with him and I'm like "Oh, uh, probably just a malfunction in his behavioral subroutines, right?" But I feel like I'll need to come clean soon and I really don't know where to start.

Was I in the right? Would you have done the same? Am I the asshole?