25 days sober but craving the mood alteration/feeling different - any alternatives or advice?? (ADHD/Depression)

I (25F) recently decided to be honest with my therapist and myself and told her about the fact that I’ve been drinking almost everyday for 7+ months. (I had an issue the year before but got it under control for about 3-4 months and then gradually got back into this habit… wine/drink right when I get home or even during lunch….). Red wine or mules I made from home if the wine got too expensive were my go to. I am not addicted but I do have severe ADHD and clinical depression so my meds weren’t working when I drank… aka I was deeply depressed but felt somewhat happy when drunk. (Dopamine? Idk)

Instead of addiction it was habitual and more of something to do when I was bored, make things more fun, or really any little excuse I could think of (like while listening to music, doing laundry, at the pool, etc.) It was either a bottle of wine a night/afternoon or 3-4 mixed drinks with vodka. It could never just be one or two because what was the point if I didn’t really feel it/I was enjoying the feeling so keep it going. I just didn’t have the control to stop at 1-2 drinks. But I wouldn’t get black out (for the most part).

I’ve been totally fine and incredibly happy being sober the past 25 days and stopped the day I told my therapist. I’ve been watching some of those YouTube videos about what alcohol does to you and how much better people feel not drinking (love those). I go on walks, am doing much better at work, have gone to the pool, hung out with people more and it’s been great.

But.. (weirdly) today, as it’s 5:30pm on a Friday, the weather is nice, I live alone (I enjoy living alone but I drink less when I’m around others), and I’m working from home today (just finished)… I am craving a drink so bad. I’m not even really sure why. It’s like I can feel the neurons in my brain telling me just one drink won’t hurt and to go to the store. But I know I’m going to be disappointed in myself. It’s like I’ve forgotten how terrible I felt when my meds weren’t working and I was so deeply depressed… which what was my original motivator to get better.

I feel at war with myself and I just don’t know what to do. Obviously I shouldn’t drink but I just like the feeling of feeling different and that shift when you start getting tipsy/drunk. I’ve tried Hiyo, Recess, etc. and the “float” feeling they’re supposed to give just isn’t there for me. I don’t want to be high either bc it makes me anxious. I just wish I wasn’t so “all or nothing” and could be normal and have 1-2 drinks once or twice a week without it turning into a habit or drinking everyday again. I don’t think that’s in the cards for me though and maybe I’m grieving a bit.

Does anyone have a good mood altering alternatives (since the hiyos/recess did nothing)???? Or just any words of advice?

Thank you!