My best friend kicked me out of our hotel room, should i forgive him?

Hi reddit, i've never made a post on here so i don't know if it all makes sense. English is not my first language so it might be a little chaotic. Let me start with a little backstory. So i (19F) have two very close friends, Jessie (19f) And Jay. (18M) Jessie and i have been friends for i don't even know how long. In our first year of highschool we met Jay. We've been a tight-knit trio since we met. We all grew up in the same city but last year Jay moved away to Amsterdam for college. The Netherlands is a very small country so visiting him there (or visa versa) isn't a big deal. But it can get very expensive! keep that in mind.

So about seven months ago Jay invited us over to party in the big city, and then stay the night there. However, Jessie and me were both very broke and had already went to Amsterdam that same month. We told him this but he insisted that he pay for our drinks and a hotel room and that he would take care of things. The three of us have always been very dependent on each other when it comes to money, so we knew that this wasn't going to be a problem and he assured us that it was okay. He did also invite another friend of his who would be staying, we'll name him Mark.

Fast forward to the night. I did end up not being completely broke and i was able to pay for some of my own stuff, i could already hear the comments telling me to get a job hahahah. Jessie and me got there way later than expected which already started off the night a little rocky. I arrived in the hotel with a bottle and some good vibes. The room turned out to be way smaller than i expected. There was only one bed for the four of us, but we had seen worse so we let the party continue. We were drinking, palying games, singing songs. And at this point i noticed that Jessie had maybe had a little too much too drink already. Jay and me already knew that she was struggling with knowing when to stop drinking due to her losing a lot of weight. I told her to maybe slow it down a bit since we hadn't even left the hotel room yet. During this time i went to the bathroom multiple times and everytime i would come back i would see Jay sneaking her more shots and drinks, i didn't say too much cause i didn't want to be a buzzkill.

We decided to leave the room about 3 hours later. We we're all very drunk, Mark got a ticket because he twerked on an uber and we had already made about 20 new friends, so we we're having a lot of fun. But i started to notice that Jessie was completely gone, so at this point i decided to go back to the hotel room with her and let Jay and Mark go to the club by themselves. We were heading back only for me to find out that i didn't have the key with me. The men around us were getting creepier and creepier, i was carrying Jessie, missing my keys so i was not having a good time. At this point i decided to call Jay to ask if he could bring us the key. He got there and i put Jessie to bed and checked in on Jay and asked how Mark was doing. we giggled a bit and he left, leaving behind the key.

I was sobering up at this point and was just chilling in the room after taking a shower. A headache was coming in strong so i let Jay know that i wanted to go to bed and asked if he could pick up the key, It was past 3 am at this point. We were communicating the whole night but he was in a loud club so it wasn't all too clear. i let him know on the phone that i wanted him to come back and he started ranting to me that he wasn't having a good time and that we we're being a burden on him. He even said the phrase "I can't take you guys anywhere." and that hit really hard cause i missed him. Plus, i already felt like a nag because i was stopping Jessie from drinking. So yeah, a lot of feelings. I was kinda frozen and just hang up the phone at that point. We moved over to texting and got into a slightly heated argument. We both got mad and i threatened to not open the door for him unless he wouldn't come back right now.

Sidenote again, while this was going on. My beloved Jessie had woken up and thrown up all over the room, and it wasn't a big room lol.

It was about 4 am right now, I texted him that i left the key at the door and that i was sorry for making that threat of not opening the door. While i was attempting to clean the room i heard very loud knocking (when i say very loud, i mean VERY loud) on the door. I knew that it could only be one person but i was still surprised when i opened the door and it was Jay, i've fought with him before but i've never heard or seen him be agressive like that in anyway. As soon as i opened the door he started yelling at me about the key and how we ruined his night and a lot of drunken mean things. I was pointing at Jessie and telling him to be quiet, telling him to that it was 4 am and he couldn't be screaming like that. And not too trauma dump but this triggered a lot of past memories that he knows A LOT about. So at this point i'm sobbing, he's crying too and he just tells me to leave and that he never wants to see me again. (I know, dramatic much. But drunken words.) I didn't want all four of us to get kicked out the hotel room so i decided to just leave so he would shut up lol.

So there i was stranded on the street. Clubbing outfit still on, make up running down my face all the while still having a panic attack. Men we're being really creepy, a few guys tried to get me to go in their car. So i just ended up going to the first group of girls that i saw and they helped me. I called my mom while waiting at this really shady hotel (which is a whole other story that i'm not gonna get into.) My mom ended up picking me up. I had the worst drunken/hungover car ride of my life. I was crying with my mom because he had been best friend for so long and she could not believe that he would do this to me and put me in such an unsafe environment.

It has been seven months since this happened. We have spoken since this happened, in the beginning it was him just saying sorry and telling Jessie (cause i didn't really wanna talk to him.) that he couldn't remember anything he had done that night. I honestly thought this was kind of a bullshit excuse, i think he's choosing not to remember. We barely talk now, i have forgiven him and i told him this so we're good. So fast forward to the present, we tried to hang out a few times but he cancelled everytime except for once.

I ran into him yesterday and i told him that i was over it and he told us that he has realized a lot about himself these past few months, he's apologized for what happened profusely and said that he really wanted to fix things. We plan to meet up today but he cancelled again, and all those feelings i didn't have anymore came back up.

I feel like he has lost interest in trying to maintain our friendship in the months that we weren't talking.

So reddit, my question is. Should i still put the effort in this friendship, i don't have a lot of friends and he really was a close friend who i could trust and share everything with. I can sense that we both miss each other a lot, but i feel like it's just not working his side.

I tried to summarize this as best as possible but i understand if it's a little incohesive so feel free to ask any questions!! Thanks for listening to my rant.