i want this shit to end not that it gets better tbh

Yea im 26 fucking lonely im sitting here in my appartment again smoking cig after cig no one to talk to im driving around in my city just watching around and look at ppl to fell not so alone my gf just left she was the only person i can really be myself around and talk abt everything but she cant no more and i dont blame her (really i do because i would be there for her at any time if lifes get bad or naw) also im struggling with chronic backpain for the last 3 years Fuck if i had acess to a gun i would do it right away thats how my dream looks kinda just the gun to my head and bye