She's wearing my old collar.

So. (Please forgive me I'm half drunk typing this cause I dont wanna be sober rn.)

My ex and I broke up over a month ago, I'm not happy about it but I accept it, she wants to move on, she wasn't happy in the relationship, okay. It's amicable, we're still roomates/friends, we hang out often etc...

We were also in a BDSM dynamic, she was my dominant, I was her sub, I wore 2 collars, one is a day collar thats a necklace that I never took off (in fact I havent been able to take it off yet,) and on occasion I would wear a more formal infinity collar.

When we broke up I handed this collar back, its expensive, it's hers I would just wear it, but of course I became attatched to it, it was something that signified I was owned, and I wore it very often. And it stayed in our bathroom until now.

Now, yesterday she left for several hours away to visit a new potential partner that she's been talking to (and was talking to before our relationship ended), and I noticed it. The collar is no longer in our bathroom, and its not too hard to assume where it is, and I'm not doing well processing it.

I've known about the trip for a while, Ive told her I wanted her to have a good time and to have fun, but I'm struggling with the emotions after seeing the collar missing. Knowing where it's going to wind up, seeing it in my minds eye around her new potential partner's neck is crushing me and I cant stand the thought of it. I've spent every hour that I could at least buzzed, and any hour that I cant be is devastating.

It's hers and she can give it to whoever she wants to, it just hurts to know that it's not me anymore.

So yeah, my plan is to spend this next week while she's gone drunk and to try and forget about it and move on. 🩷