I can’t even describe how bad I feel

I’m in the pits of depression and can’t get out of it. I’ve spent a full year unemployed and I’ve lost all interest in being part of society. I have almost no friends and only leave the house a handful of times a week. I recognise that a lot of how I’m feeling is my own fault but I’ve basically just given up. I’ve lost all interest in everything. Nothing I do anymore distracts me from how I feel, I have no friends or relationships. Making it worse is the fact I’m caught up on an ex who has moved on and is married now. I can’t take the pain of seeing her move on and forget about me. I have way too much time on my hands so I spend all my time thinking about her. I can’t get out of my own head, all my thoughts are negative. I frequently think about killing myself. I just can’t go on like this, it’s an unbearable existence. I honestly don’t even know why I’m posting this, I just have nobody I can talk to in real life so I’m just venting I guess.