I need help. (im in trouble lol)

EXCUSE THE BAD GRAMMAR AND MISTAKES

i (F16) have gotten myself into one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was the last day of school (June 4th) and my dumb ass self gets in trouble with a weed pen. i have 180 days poor school standing (so no homecoming), 5 days out of school suspension, 5 days in school suspension, 4 Fridays at a school for kids that need help, and a course i need to pass on the whole D.A.R.E program thing. I've been absolutely down in the fucking dumps. I don't know if this is not appropriate to say but i also fell back into self harming and i just need to smooth this over. Im going to start doing community service at my local food bank but i just feel like no matter how much i change people will always see me as some druggie that is gonna be a stripper or have no life.