Am I overreacting for being upset with my sister over her taking over decorating the house we're both moving into

So the players in this story are myself 33 Mom64, dad 63,My sort of adopted sister25 (s) My blood sister25 (r) and my brother-in-law26 (e)

Obviously this is a throwaway account because I don't want anyone in my family to see this because I don't want them to get upset with me

So backstory my sister s moved in with us when she was 18 Long story and it is not mine to tell but for context her legal family was the kind of horrifically abusive people that shouldn't be allowed to walk the earth But sadly murder is not legal

I mentioned that she is not related to us by blood and moved in when she was 18 because it plays a part in how she is viewing things and how she is acting She was raised differently than I was in a lot of ways She also was raised that I completely different tax bracket from me She did not grow up wondering where her next meal was coming from

While some of my earlier memories are standing in bread lines

So suffice it to say see if you views money differently

And because she joined our family when she was 18 she also got the best parts of Mom and Dad

I will not go into everything however Mom and Dad would not the best when I was younger and we are a little bit codependent

So I can't talk to them about this snd moving out for me is very important for my mental health

So forward my sister r moved out into our parents rental house once when she was about 19 and has been living on her own paying them rent Her man e recently bought a house So she has of course moved in to his house

My parents cannot begin to afford having that house empty It has been pretty much a noose around their neck since they inherited it And so me being 33 and and still living with my parents due to financial issues before my current job and no opportunity due to the economy now I saw an opportunity to get the hell out of this codependent(they're working on it but old habits die hard) house.

Asked if they would be willing to rent it to me with it eventually turning into me buying the house with rent to own

My parents were to put it ecstatic a house that my mom loves that my grandparents built gets to stay in the family, two of her children owning homes in this economy is a dream, and they finally get the house to themselves and I get the heck away from them

so fast forward my sister s had moved out of the area well, she breaks up with her boyfriend and moves back to the area however she moves in with her legal families uncle He is pretty good in comparison however she's still living with one of her abusers brother And there are some definite classing of ideals beliefs etc. in sort it is not a good environment for her to be in.

I know this and it's a two bedroom house so seems like a win-win she gets the hell out of a bad situation ,and that extremely low rent and I get help with the rent and I was going to be struggling a little bit

She said yes . And everything seems to be going fine.

At the beginning of the month My sister r moved out of the house She had four cats so s and r both said we need to deep clean that house before s and I move in there is also some repairs that need to be done My parents are not intending to be slumlords but they are still achieving that particular title

Now s & I are talking while I'm working and she's showing me the things that she wants to buy for the house I'm working so I'm not super paying attention .and I'm thinking why would you spend money when I already have a lot of these things.

Due to my job I have a amazing support system and people have just been giving me stuff when they find out I'm moving out One person gave me a sink and a shoe rack another gave me an extremely expensive leather couch and chair and a TV stand Someone else gave me a dishwasher because they found out that that house didn't have a good one and they will getting a new one anyways People have given me China and vases tea containers sugar containers so on and so forth I have been incredibly blessed and this regard I also bought a lot of things because one of the local stores was going out of business and they had a lot of stuff for cheap

So I told her hey hold off let's get the stuff But I have into the house we can order what we need after we see what that is there is no need to waste money . She did tell me she was going to buy the table and chairs because he did not like the table I had (which rude that was my grandmother's wedding present and it is incredibly cute and mostly sturdy) I also assumed witch was my mistake that her and I would decorate together

Well r gave her her keys to the house probably a week ago

And s has been going through some stuff and she is distracting herself with fixing up the house She went hog wild with the cleaning and it needed it I am incredibly appreciative I don't think I can express how appreciative I am I work a lot of hours and I am preparing for a massive event at my job and as a result there was no way I was going to get over there to clean up as well as I needed to before moving in so the fact that s went hog wild getting every , inch that place that she could clean is seriously appreciated.

She text me a picture of the curtain she had up and I panicked thinking that she put the wrong ones up So I stop by the other day thinking that I would just see the house clean Make sure that the curtains were in the right spot because there's only so many curtains and I bought them with specific rooms in mind (The ones I had gotten fit with the themes she had said she wanted for each of the rooms), maybe map out a few things and then ask her opinion on them later etc so on. And she's there still cleaning ,painting that kind of stuff

She has set up the table and chairs with a rug there is shells on the walls with weird decorative bottles in them in the bathroom there are signs up In the living room there is a rug down and tables And just a lot more

So I'm a little put off, but I try to join it and help I had brought some of my stuff down already it was packed in boxes in a room that wasn't being worked on most of it was kitchen stuff I get told no Don't do that yet, Don't put that stuff there she's not done working on the kitchen mind you it was my dishes that I was trying to put in the cabinet.

The i'm like oh hey I wanted to put the trash can over here that immediately got vetoed (I did try it today it won't work unless I buy a different trash can) So I figured okay clearly I'm not wanted hereI ended hanging some lights and then leaving because I had something I had to do for my job anyways

So I'm talking to r about it that night and I basically get told to bite the bullet But she's still technically the one renting and that she appreciates everything that s is doing.

I talk to Mom and she's validating what I'm saying but not in a objective way and that's just not helpful.

If I talk to Dad I don't know He's not really good with people.( and that's coming from my ADHD autistic ass)

so I went over today because I figured I need to really start getting the stuff out of the house I'm supposed to move out in less than a month and if I don't start getting my stuff packed and moved it will never Also the way things are at my house I'm trying to remove my stuff from each room and clean as I go so it makes it easier if I can put it into the house that I'm moving into so that it's out of the way here and I have the space to clean up this house for Mom and Dad

happen I also am supposed to move into the house before s and I need to. s has lived on her own I have not there are certain things that I need to learn to be a full-fledged adult and s does not deserve someone who has not learned how to handle their own .

So imagine my surprise when get there and there are a lot more decorations up I go to put my dishes in the cupboard only to find hers already taking up all of the prime real estate Just more and more and more decorating and organizing done without even considering what I might want

And it just hurts this is my first house My first place of my own she's been out on her own for a while I've never gotten to decorate a house like this hell I've never even gotten to decorate my room completely like I want to because there are certain things that my parents would not be comfortable within their home

And it doesn't help that I hate almost everything she's bought

It's just cheap stupid crap that we probably could have gotten cheaper from the dollar store hell if she had waited I have some of those things were things or ones that are similar.

Stuff that is actually useful Maybe it's the practical part of me maybe it's the person who is a recovering hoarder But I don't believe in useless decorations for the most part Make the things that you use pretty and use them as decorations I don't want to have to dust
and now I'm going to have to dust stupid fucking trash

And the thing is ,is I know I'm being a little bit unreasonable I need to probably say something to her but I also don't want to hurt her feelings and I know that she's using this as a distraction from everything she's going through and I don't want to take that away from her or potentially make things worse for her, but when I opened that cabinet today to find her plates and bowls and stuff already in there when she had specifically told me not to yet felt like a slap in the face and it made me break down crying

It feels like I'm getting forced out of my own home before I even get to live there, feels like nothing I have is good enough, It feels like finally getting to live on my own and be myself is not going to happen.

On top of all of that she's already making plans for the yard And I will be damned if I let her take control of the yard I have dreamed about getting to plant a food forest in my yard for years

Am I being unreasonable thinking that my sister is crossing boundaries by not at least including me in the decoration of the house we're going to share