So desperate for something to change

Long post incoming, but TLDR: —24 month old —current schedule: 4 hours awake, 1.5-2.5 hour nap (have been caping at 2 recently), 6-7 hours awake depending on how long it takes to fall asleep… I aim for 6 though —not sleep trained —nurses to sleep (often a bath before bed) —no designated wake time, but 8am ish is usual (want to move it to 7am if possible)

My child is almost 2 and still nurses to sleep every single night, as well as for his daily nap. I guess it started when he was very young, and like most babies could not fall asleep independently. I could either nurse him to sleep, walk him to sleep, or rock him to sleep. I have a partner, but by about 8 weeks I was doing all the nights. Maybe it was 10, I can’t remember exactly. Not that it should matter, but I went back to work when our baby was almost 6 months, partner does not work outside the home.

Anyhow, even though I wasn’t ‘supposed’ to I just kept nursing him to sleep because it was easiest (fastest), I was so exhausted, and my partner effectively refused to help put child down because it took too long.

I tried sleep training twice but failed almost immediately (like, within 5 minutes). I work full time, and even if I didn’t, I’m just so exhausted from this routine. I spent over an hour putting my son down tonight (while nursing), although usually it’s 40-45 minutes. That would be tolerable but 2 years in and the wake ups are usually every 1.5-2.5 hours, and it has been this way consistently. I get a 4 hour stretch of sleep maybe every other week. Sometimes I feel ok, but often like I’m losing my mind.

I have almost 2 months off of work, and so I feel like I might have the energy to try to fix this sleep mess, and to helpfully help my child learn to sleep independently.

Please help/ provide tips. I have no idea where to start after cosleeping most of his life. I feel like we’re totally stuck in this pattern.