Limerence or no?

I’ve struggled with limerence all my life and have had three LO’s. In the past, the only way I’ve gotten over one has been through replacing them with the next but once I realised this pattern, I’ve made it my mission to make sure I heal completely from the third LO before dating and meeting people again so this doesn’t repeat.

I’ve gotten to a point with my LO where I’ve walked away from them - they still throw breadcrumbs and want a casual relationship with me (this has been going on for almost three years) but I’ve been firm in that I don’t want anything non- serious and we haven’t been casual together for almost two years.

I’ve stopped pedestooling them, trying to fight for their affection and attention, even fantasising has become less and less - I’ve really been working on minimising fantasy (although sometimes I still do it)

I’m still not at a point where I can completely remove them from my life though and this is the issue. I’m scared that my LO will eventually remove me and it will trigger me completely - all the attachment will be ignited and I’ll go back to feeling those feelings.

Right now I’m feeling the dark limerence - I feel quite low about love and relationships, specifically me in relation to love and relationships. I feel it weighing heavy on me but I am facing the rejection head on and finally facing reality, not fantasy.

Do you think I’m on the right track? I’m reading Love & Limerence too, probably too late because I do feel like I’m in the middle and on the way out of this. A year ago, I was extremely limerent and hanging off every word and breadcrumb thrown at me.