22 years old and have been spinning wheels for years

Hey all. so basically started training a couple years ago at 148lbs. i did a big bulk barely gained strength cause I wasn’t trianing hard then cut hard. Then started training again after two years bulked slow saw very slow gains decided to bulk faster and got to a 175 for 5 bench and 305 for 5 deadlift (lbs) in a matter of months at 168lbs bodyweight, I was 148lbs at the start, then. I cut hard to 140lbs cause I felt fat. Then again last January 2024 I started again at 148lbs with a 140lbs squat for 5 and 140lbs bench for 5 by June I was when 157lbs and got to a 160 squat for 5 and 160 bench for 5. Hated how slow those gains were so bulked hard and got to a 185 for 5 bench and 135 for ohp at 183lbs bodyweight, looked much bigger but felt fat and just cut again to 140lbs, now im 149lbs trying to gain a pound a month but man I’ve wasted so much time. What do I do? Do I maybe commit to a year long bulk just eat as much as I can to get strong on all compounds then cut later? I can’t seem to commit to bulks. Feel like I’ve wasted so much time that gaining like 1-2lbs a month is not gonna work for me.