Dating right after divorce or healing and finding myself.

So I (F) have a dilemma. There’s a guy that I’m interested in (not the bald guy) but I’m just going to file for divorce next month. I really don’t want to contact him until I am actually factually divorced. Like until the situation totally over. So I haven’t dated anybody since my ex (M) left 3 years ago. The dilemma is this: I’m in my 30s, all parties mentioned here are in our 30s and I know that’s not super old but it feels old. I don’t have any kids, and I think I want some. I want to meet someone before it’s too late. I want to have a real family. Me and my ex were together 11 years, and 14 if you count the 3 years we’ve been separated. In 14 years I’ve only messed around with one guy besides my ex, briefly during a time me and him were broken up. We did break up a couple of times during the 6 years we dated before getting engaged. So I just feel like I want some space, I don’t want to jump into a serious relationship, and the guy I am thinking about is serious relationship material. It’s very selfish, but I don’t want someone else to get to him first. But I also don’t feel like I’m ready for a serious relationship, even though I also feel like I don’t have all the time in the world. I was with the same guy for so many years, my only adult relationship, and I kind of just want to date. I don’t want to sleep around or anything but just see what’s out there. Also, my relationship ending took a huge emotional toll on me. There are so many things I had to recover from after being married to my ex. I don’t even think I could emotionally treat this guy the same way I was used to treating my ex. It’s been 3 years and sometimes I still feel emotionally exhausted, I think from all the trauma I experienced. I gave it my ALL to make my marriage work, and it drained the life out of me. I don’t even know when I won’t feel tired from it. I mean it’s been 3 years, why am I still emotionally exhausted. I feel like this post is all over the place, so if you have any advice or wisdom please let me know. Summary: getting divorced next month, not in the headspace to be in a relationship, but interested in a guy and don’t want to move too slowly that he meets someone before i tell him how I feel.