Autism and Toileting

I wrote this on another subreddit, but I'm also going to post it here, because this is a critical topic that we all know about amongst ourselves, but there are also layers of stigma that come with it...

I was recently diagnosed with Autism. I'm in my mid-life, and for me, this was something that wasn't so much a shock as it was a missing puzzle piece that I had been looking for for quite some time, and I thought, "Huh! That makes sense!"

With that, there's something to be said about being someone who will wear diapers.

I've given it a lot of thought... It's not and never has been a kink for me; it's something that I've indulged in because, first and foremost, it's made me feel "comfortable."

Sure, you can read about why adults with autism wear diapers - the unfamiliarity, taking off your clothes in a public space, the sound of the toilet flushing... but for someone who masks quite well? It was hard to put two and two together. So, here's my experience...

I have the choice to wear or not wear. I can go without a diaper, and I can confidently say that wearing them is something that works well because, as an autistic person, it takes away the choice of having to tap into interoception (or understanding your body's internal sense.)

For me, having to check in with my body is something that is a lot more difficult than I gave myself credit for. I don't always know when I'm hungry, I don't always know when I want to bathe, I don't always knwo when I need to go to the bathroom. I've had accidents, but only and probably because if I were NT it would have been felt as more urgent 5-10 mintues before.

I CAN and DO use the toilet, but for me, not having to check in with something else that's going on around me means that my life is a little bit more easily lived.

I'm saying that as someone who lives alone, is within the mid-life range of their lives age-wise, and as someone who was house-shopping within the past two years without a partner of any kind.

I'm a grown-up, professional woman with a suitable job, and guess what? As an L-1 autistic person? I am capable of using a bathroom, but in order to keep my life together without a shutdown/meltdown, I have to think about things that others don't have to in order to keep up with life. And not having to check in with myslef in respect to going to the bathroom? Is a HUGE help when it comes to everything I have to process.