Struggling

I feel like I don’t have any reasons to live. I’ve been struggling with these thoughts as long as I can remember (29f) but lately it’s been bad. I was just inpatient for a few days after trying to take a bunch of pills I had leftover from previous surgeries. It was my first attempt. I was disappointed when I woke up. I’m still upset it didn’t work because now I’m dealing with the aftermath of my parents “checking on me” and we already have a strained relationship. My partner blocked me after he picked me up from the hospital and dropped me off at home. I have no one. I’m surviving paycheck to paycheck. I don’t have friends. I don’t do anything with my life. Don’t know when my next attempt will be but I’m hoping it’s successful.