Is my girlfriend showing undiagnosed BPD?

My girlfriend broke up randomly for no reason, what should I do?

Hi all Ibecame friends with a girl 2 months ago and she seemed a bit off because she always had fights with people and she had a bad breakup with her ex so she first said she hated him and then she said she loves him but I didn’t expect anything because she was just so beautiful. After school we would hangout very nicely as friends and then one day we just held hands and decided to date.

On the first day, she was incredibly happy and affectionate, saying she loved me. Then for the weekend she sent me very nice messages saying how she doesn’t want anything from me but I should never leave her. I promised. However the next day she became very distant. She said that if her parents find out she is dating me they will send her back to her country so I agreed to not have much physical contact with her to be on the safe side. But then after that she sat me down and said no, her mom only wants her to marry someone who is the same nationality as her. And how she will call the police if she finds out I am dating her daughter. That day she complained that I was not fun enough since I am quiet person. The minute I heard this I promises her sister and herself that I will be open, I wasn’t talking a lot before due to unrelated traumas from the past. But she didn’t care she kept on becoming more distant. She also told her friends to lie and say she does very bad things like going clubbing just so I can leave her. She told me she is gay and bisexual and kissed a girl in front of me. She wrote in messages that she can’t even kiss boys yet she has 8 exes excluding me. She falls in love with every guy she sees and likes videos of random guys flexing their muscles on instagram. We agreed that day to be in a temporary relationship for one month otherwise we need to break up. She said she wants to be with me but for only one month. So I happily agreed.

But the very next day in school she skipped lunch and didn’t even inform me. When she came back she said I am not ready for a relationship can we stay friends? I was shocked. The girl that told me to promise I will never leave her is now leaving me. I became extremely sad and started crying in front of her. She said “You are too good for me, I don’t deserve you.” “I want you to find a good girl, not be with me.” She refused to hug me or have any physical contact despite being in a “temporary relationship” with me. After the third day of being in that type of relationship I felt as if she hated me and I became very depressed seeing how she was sad I said let’s be friends if that will make you happy. She said lets be amazing friends. After that we barely talked and now she doesn’t even say hi to me anymore. She use to dress very openly but now she started wearing hijab. She also told me I can date her friend. I promise you I did everything to try to be with her but you cannot force someone to be with you if they don’t want so I respected her choice. She told me her ex cheated on her and how much she hates him but the next day she said she loves her ex and doesn’t even care if he cheated on her. Everyone says she is normal but I know there is something going on. Do you think eventually people will figure out her mental problems? She is from an uneducated refugee family from Afghanistan.

I feel very bad though because people in the future will think I am an unstable person since I had multiple short relationships but I promise I did not do anything but love. What do you think will happen? Is it good I am not with her? Will she every come back to me? Please share your thoughts!! I really need it I am crying thank you so much!!

Posted Jun 15, 2025, 3:03 AM UTC

03
Loading comments…