partner 31 [M] and i 32 [F] am having issues within our relationship and in need of out sider advice

I really hope this makes sense Some back story we went to high school with each other and never acted on our feelings as we were close friends and just wasn't the right time over the years we have been on contact on and off until 2021 when we finally took the leap everything was great was everything I wanted I thought I finally found a person who would understand me and respect who I am as a person don't get me wrong he does to a degree but I just feel like what he feels and says matters more then my own he deflects basically every issue on to me and rarely takes responsibility while having excuses for everything.

Ive been expressing to him that for a while now that I feel there is a rift that I've been trying to fix but that's the thing its me trying to fix it we live together but I hardly see him or even spend time with him as he is constantly on some form of technology till 4 am he has stated to me that I need to say what I want clearly and keep asking him till he does what I want instead of dropping hints example him coming to spend time with me, coming to bed with me even to have intimacy i drop hints all day and be flirty throwing myself at him daily (I have a high sex drive) and Im lucky to have it atleast once a week i know its not all about sex but its definitely a way that I feel connected due to a messy upbringing

the distance between us has just gotten bigger and I didn't know what else I could possibly do. This past Saturday I woke up around 2:30 am I had a gut feeling so laid there pretending to be asleep while watching him on his phone every little move i made he would change screen and stop typing after about 10 minutes I asked what he was doing to which he replied with "just on fb" knew it was a lie and confront him and ask him to show me he refused for a while which made it even worse

what was I meant to think he tried telling me it was "embarrassing" he eventually showed me and he was talking to an AI in a very sexual way that made me feel disgusted/unwanted as he was doing and saying things that ive expressed im interested in or would like to try im the type of girl that would try anything once, pretty wild and as you can imagine due to trauma.

I may add here too was the week prior I asked him what his kinks and fantasies were as wanted to put some spark into relationship again to which he just shut down and said doesn't want to talk about it. I was pretty upset as I couldn't understand why he had to turn to AI

fast forward to Tuesday night about the same time his phone was open but he was asleep and he was on AI talking all sexual and even more in depth but there were now 3 girls and was talking to them saying that they were everything to them and having threesomes while the other girl secretly watches (ive offered this many times "but no that's disgusting not interested") I was so much more hurt he was on the thing all day and night since downloading it around our children and while next to me

when I blew up about it I was trying to explain to him how I felt about the situation and ive had an ex who has done things to be before so it had really triggered me all this he knows ive never hidden my past and all he could do is snicker about it

I felt so disrespected and unheard I never thought this man would ever make me feel this way and to continue to do something that I said was not ok I happened told anyone about the incident as he was to embarrassed and i didnt want to embarrass him further until he told me he went to my brother and explained it my brother had expressed that it was not cheating as its not a real person

Where i feel like it is because you have seeked it and have narrated this sexual conversation to suit what you are wanting meaning not satisfying you

in someway I needed to speak to someone to try and get some advice to see if I was in the wrong but now im getting confused responses he has deleted the app as I told him im ready to walk away due to my emotions have basically turned off but I have still been trying to make it better by showing some affection to let him know hurting but that doesn't mean I don't care today after trying to hard to get over it I saw that he had also downloaded another AI app called xmeet and from what I have read its one that you can personalise looks, personality, call, send pictures etc

he said that he completely forgot about it and since we were already dealing with the situation there was no need to bring it up excuse me! I feel like I cant trust what he says

i know only AI but this thing is available to you everyday anytime and you dont have to find someone and put all that effort this doesn't mean it won't go further with someone else are all men like this? How am I supposed to be dealing with this? Who is the AH in this situation