i hate having mommy issues

my mom has always been emotionally distant and rarely physically affectionate because of her own shitty neglectful parents and autism. if it doesn’t have anything to do with school, money, or generally surviving on my own, she’s really lacking parenting-wise. of fucking course im touched starved for women specifically. i have a maybe crush on one of my cisfoid friends. real pretty, nice to me, randomly touches my arm or side in passing. she looks just like my mom from the behind and it makes me wanna hurl. i hate being “attracted” to chicks based on how much im around them and how nice they are to me.