Does not meet criteria

Hey everyone,

Sorry this might be long. I guess I’m just venting but I’m feeling so sad and frustrated that my 4.5 year old son did not qualify for any diagnosis at his recent private comprehensive psychological assessment.

For background, I was recently diagnosed autistic and ADHD and my husband is diagnosed ADHD.

My son has been struggling immensely since he was two years old at home and at daycare, mostly in the areas of emotional regulation, difficulties with transitions, “oppositional” behaviour, aggression towards peers and staff.

Other signs we have noticed include very rigid thinking patterns, intense and sole interest/obsession in vehicles/transportation, lining up cars every day, spinning and toe walking every day, hand flapping when he’s happy/excited, sensory adverse/avoidant to light, sound, smell, touch. Proprioceptive sensory seeking such as bumping his body into objects and people, falling down the (carpeted) stairs on purpose, dislike of being perceived by others at times, visual stimming such as staring at spinning wheels as close as he can without his eyeball actually touching the wheel, lack of awareness of the volume of his voice, lack of awareness of personal space, sleep issues. The list goes on really.

He also exhibits many pronounced ADHD traits.

The psychologist who assessed him essentially said he undoubtedly met all ASD criteria in part B but that he was very social with the assessors and made good eye contact and told jokes during the assessment. They also commented on the fact that we reported he has a best friend at daycare. Therefore not meeting the social deficits criteria in part A and not qualifying for an ASD diagnosis.

The psychologist said their recommendation was that he be reassessed in a couple of years.

The psychologist also noted that he was very hyperactive during the assessment, could not remain seated or focus on the tasks, needed tons of redirection, showed poor impulse control, and was often distracted by extraneous stimuli around the room.

When we asked about ADHD, the psychologist advised they would not diagnose him because he doesn’t go to school yet. When I asked if he would be considered “at risk” for ADHD, they said no because they were “focusing on ASD and there’s a lot of overlap between ASD and ADHD”. I am aware of the overlap of traits in ASD and ADHD but this rationale didn’t make sense to me as a reason not to flag him for possible ADHD.

Obviously we will have to have him reassessed at some point but I’m now stuck trying to figure out when, how long do we wait, do we take him for a second opinion now? I don’t know. Just feeling super deflated and invalidated.

The psychologist said he will still qualify for an IEP and support when he starts school later this year even though he doesn’t have a diagnosis. But we will miss out on other opportunities like funding and other support programs.

The psychologist is recommending he have 1:1 support at school due to emotional regulation difficulties that pose a safety risk to himself and others based on our reporting and the daycare’s reporting. How does he not qualify for any diagnosis 😖

Anyway thanks for listening if you’ve made it this far and I’d love to hear other’s experiences if you’d like to share, advice is welcomed.