4 months ago (top photo)
june 10 (bottom photo) 

about 4 months ago my sweet cat Gump, (5years old) had some weird episode as i was fostering a new kitten who ended up not being the best fit. later on, we were even directed to keep them separate due to unnecessary stress on Gump, resulting in me rehoming it the kitten. 

head bobbing, lots of abdominal workload, BPM of over 50. “slow” was 40. took him to the emergency vet on a sunday and he got diagnosed. it was like the movies, so heavy and emotional for me and my partner knowing he was so young. we were there for about 6 hours. he was in the oxygen tank for quite some time. we put him on 12.5 mg of furosemide twice a day. ever since diagnosis.

all this time he has been thriving, he’s indoor and outdoor and made the most kills he ever had in just a few months. i would catch some fast BPMs but always monitored and would eventually not show again. this was pretty rare until recently. i know what you’re thinking, super not recommended for a cat with HCM to be outside, as i cannot control the air quality. but, he was given a short time, 6-12months. he loves his outdoors as we found him as a stray, and i would never take that away from him. 

about 4 months later after diagnosis he has been the only cat once again, indoor outdoor with restriction, pill routine, excessive hunting and vocal to be outside where he loves. i noticed another rapid BPM rate, head bobbing and extreme workload in abdomen just trying to breath at rest. i got him into my vet right away and got a new x ray. they have a furosemide injection to try to help fluid, and recommended to up my pill usage for him. instead of 2 every 12hr, 3 a day. my vet told me he is in end stages, and that it is up to me what’s next. HCM is very hard, he had great days and he has very different bad ones. i have educated myself a lot on his disease as i try to accept and understand what i must do to prevent him from dying alone, or abruptly just simply enjoying his outdoors/ home from a heart attack/ saddle thrombus/ blood clots. 

he is scheduled to be euthanized this monday. 

i am in in-denial mode, trying to believe i am not cutting his life short. not trying to believe that i am going to end his life too early. i have never had to make this decision before. but the digression is evident. his personality changes are evident. he masks it so well, i feel like a bad cat mom that i just assume he was at a “long pause” in his HCM journey with his medications. 4 months and it has gotten worse than i could have imagined. i just cannot accept him dying alone, or to keep watching him suffer. he is barley drinking as much water as usual, and he LOVES water. loves treats still but little to no food. please tell me i’m making the right choice. i wish i could be told exactly how long he could have left. but i know it’s not realistic. i also do not have the expensive for intensive care constantly. ugh. 

- adding radiograph, photo of gump, and his box me and my partner made. 

Putting my sweet boy with HCM down this Monday. How bad is it? (4 month difference)