Bombed last semester (2.8 GPA) and lost motivation to continue school

Hi everyone,

For some context, I'm a 20-year-old college student in the US, currently a rising junior at an Ivy league. As expected, I used to be a straight-A student in high school and was laser-focused on breaking into competitive careers like investment banking or consulting. For a while, I did okay — my first three semesters went decently well.

But last semester, I discovered a new passion: I wanted to start my own business, build something on my own terms, and become wealthy through entrepreneurship. That dream felt more exciting and meaningful than the traditional route. During this semester I spent a lot of time working on a startup. Me and a friend worked really hard on it and applied to YCombinator (one of the best startup accelerators in the world) and despite not getting in, we did recieved notice that we were in the top 10% of applicants for this batch and were highly encouraged to apply again.

However, at the same time, I completely lost motivation to try in my classes. I ended up getting a 2.8 GPA, which tanked my chances of recruiting for those top jobs. I haven't told my Asian parents about my GPA yet for obvious reasons.

Now it’s summer break, and I had this grand vision: use these 3.5 months to build the foundation of a business so strong that I could convince my parents to let me take a semester off to go all in.

But... it's already been over a month and I’ve barely made any progress.

Instead of building, I’ve been wasting hours a day playing Minecraft just to escape my thoughts and avoid the stress. I keep telling myself I’ll start tomorrow, but that tomorrow never comes.

There’s more to it than just business and school.

I also feel incredibly isolated. I haven’t formed strong friendships in college. I’m in a frat, but I don’t feel a real connection with the people there. I have a few close friends, but we don’t really hang out or do anything that makes me feel fulfilled.

And on top of that, I’ve never had a girlfriend, or even really talked to girls in a social or flirty way. I have bad social anxiety and extremely low self-esteem — mostly due to severe acne I struggled with for years. I still have visible acne scars that really mess with how I see myself.

I’m starting to work on improving my skin, but I know rebuilding confidence and social skills will take a long time. And lately, I’ve just been dwelling on everything I’ve missed out on — dating, fun college memories, carefree friendships.

I thought I could turn all that pain into motivation. I told myself, “Screw it — I’ll grind this summer, build my business, and never have to go back to college. I'll make new friends and go party in Miami after getting rich.” That way I wouldn’t have to deal with the loneliness or the pressure anymore.

But now that I’m not making progress, that dream is slipping away too. I don’t know if I’m burnt out, depressed, undisciplined, or just scared. I can’t tell what’s wrong with me, or how to fix it. Every day is genuinely like a roller coaster where during some random moment I'll feel a short burst of extreme motivation to accomplish greatness and I'll be productive for like an hour and then I'll get distracted.

What I want is clarity.

I want to know how to refocus — how to let go of all these painful thoughts and just commit to my business. I really do have a solid idea and some foundation in place. I started on the business over last semester and made some money (~1k). I just need to execute. But my mind feels foggy and overwhelmed all the time.

Part of me hopes that if I can build this business and gain financial freedom, I’ll then finally feel confident enough to work on my social skills, friendships, dating, and overall happiness. But is that the wrong order?

I think what I'm doing is unhealthy because every time I "fail" something, whether that be failing an exam or even bombing a class presentation because I was too nervous, I always calm myself by telling myself the future will be all ok because I will start grinding soon and become rich and I will forget about all these issues.

TL;DR:
I'm a 20-year-old college student at an Ivy League. Lost motivation for school, want to build a startup instead. Started building it, applied to YC, got rejected, but was told we were top 10% of that pool and should apply again. But summer is slipping by and I’m making no progress. I feel socially isolated, never had a girlfriend, suffer from low self-esteem and social anxiety due to acne scars. All this pain is hitting me at random times causing me to lose focus. I thought I could use all that pain to fuel my grind — but now I feel stuck, overwhelmed, and sad. How do I focus, regain discipline, and move forward?