Help! Relationship Trauma

Im a 29-year-old man, and I was in a relationship with my 30-year-old girlfriend for about a year. She was the love of my life, and I made a huge mistake—I downloaded Hinge while we were together. Her friends found my profile, and she ended things with me. I completely messed up, and I’m filled with regret. I loved her deeply, and I honestly don’t understand why I did what I did.

The truth is, I was insecure. I started convincing myself that maybe she was cheating on me, even though she never gave me a reason to think that. It was all in my head—just negative thoughts and fears about our relationship. Looking back, I know she didn’t deserve that. I can also see that I’m not in a healthy place to be in a relationship right now, and I need to work on myself.

I’ve been carrying unresolved trauma for a long time. My mom didn’t treat me well at times when i was younger, and she died (k***** herself)when I was 11. I believe that experience gave me deep abandonment issues. I struggle to feel worthy of love, and I often believe that anyone who gets close to me will eventually leave or lose interest. It’s like I sabotage things before they can fall apart on their own.

I want to heal. I want to be better—not just for future relationships, but for myself. What’s the best way to get help for something like this?

I am currently seeing a therapist, but my therapist doesn't really give me advice. I just talk and she just listens. Are therapists supposed to give advice? How do I find a good therapist? Help!!!