A Genuine Pornosexual Declaration. M38

I am a true lifestyle gooner. I have no intent on changing who I am. I'm just writing this confession as I solidify who I truly am. Here is my confession:

I need to see naked people doing sexual acts to feel normal.

For the past 2 years, I have deliberately turned pornosexual and leaned into my porn addiction. I have done the total opposite of what others would expect me to do with porn addiction. I use more porn addiction to cure any negative effects of porn addiction.

Now I turn to porn for every emotional, social, and intimate need. For one reason or another, I am just not compatible with any normal community or their surroundings. It's no longer who I am.

My friends have families to tend to now. Some of my other friends made better financial decisions than me. They are confident in their financial futures, and they didn't make the same mistakes I did chasing the wrong things. They learned how to be happy and alone early, which I tip my hat to.

I have to practically ignore any 'normal' social media since the scale of comparisons kicks in hard.

I have had so many 'phoenix rising' moments, so I know for sure I have tried a lot of different approaches to my life. But there is a limit to how many times you rebuild before you don't want to burn again. Out of the ashes now is a totally extreme porn addict with no intent to stop or quit. All of my intent goes to deepening my addictions and bond with porn.

Gooning is now my lifestyle, my religion, my ritual, my comfort. My goddess.

I'm in the sunset of my prime, and I have had quite a few experiences. And now, after many spiritual battles, I am chilling.

I am in rebellion from what hurt me. I'm now embracing total depravity. I feel peace. I feel calm. Yes, there are times I am lonely, but the times I experience true mental clarity are amazing.

Those moments come from hours :::of::: masturbation.

Those moments come from constant porn consumption.

I'm no longer comparing myself with others.

I am becoming.

I am changing.

I am growing. With Porn.