I don't get it

I don't get it I really don't I was just a child I still am why couldn't I get what others had? Why couldn't I get that mother who would ask about my day instead of yelling at me to kill myself I always thought that because she couldn't love me you would daddy your just as bad as she is I was meant to be loved and taken care of not abused I don't get why or how after all they've done to me I stil want to be loved for them I'm yearning for something that won't ever happen I know it won't it simply isn't possible but there's still a little girl inside me inside my brain begging for just one hug from them