Reported abusive ex husband to HR for trying to apply to my job.

My (35F) ex husband (36M) and I were together for 13 years. During this time he mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused me. Insults, silent treatments, lies, hanging out with random women behind my back, etc. I went thru a horrible eating disorder phase where I thought it I became more attractive he’d want to treat me well. He was so toxic, it took me 3 years to make an escape plan and leave. After I finally left he kept promising to do all the things he said he would do for years but I knew at this point I’d give him a million too many chances. The memories that stick out to me the most is him pushing our roommate (32F) for trying to defend me from him aggressively yelling in my face AND him sabotaging my school work by having the TV on so loud I could not hear my zoom meeting presentations which I would be tested on after.

We’ve been separated for 3 years now. I have created a completely new life, with a new job, new friends (he kept the friends in the divorce), and a new version of myself. I work at a very nice restaurant in my city which allows me to comfortably pay my bills only working 3 days a week. A few weeks ago I heard he was applying to become our general manager. My heart immediately dropped. After speaking to our other managers and staff, everyone encouraged me to speak to HR. I did speak to HR and heard his interviews had been paused but haven’t heard anything since (2 weeks since the email now).

I can’t shake the feeling of guilt for reporting him. Although the thought of working under him would kill my soul. I know he we were ever 1 on 1 alone, he would bring up our relationship and trying to get back together. Did I do the right thing?

Posted Jun 15, 2025, 3:20 PM UTC

57625
Loading comments…