<mumble grumble> vampirism <mumble grumble> will o wisp <grumble bundle> freakin' soul gems freaking sunlight damage raaaaaaaaawwwwrghhaaaaaa

I accidentally got The Vampirism and I think because I picked up the Remaster Special Whatever Edition with the DLC (I have the ice wizard tower thing) that there's some way to cure vampirism without doing the quest. But that feels a little too pay-to-win, and it's my first time playing the game, so I kinda wanna do the quest. I did a little searching before setting off, just to get me pointed in the right direction. When you flag the part of the Cure of Vampirism quest that requires five EMPTY (!!!) Soul Gems, then they done did put some empty grand soul gems in nearby places for you to go and get. OK, cool!

There's an abandoned mine or whatever nearby, one soul gem get! And hey, there's Fort Facian nearby. Those wights sure do pack a wallop...but after only a death or two, I managed to take a pretty good look around. And...aw, shoot, well I guess they only put the soul gems in -caverns- and -dungeons- nearby and this is a fort. Oh well!

That's OK. Surely I can just go buy some or something, right? Aw, shoot, these soul gems I have all have souls in them...aw shoot, there's no way to empty them. Well, maybe there's an alchemists guild or shop in another city. Let's use our cool magic ice wizard's tower to teleport to another city. They're all gonna have an alchemist store, right? Alchemy is such a major feature of the game! Aw, shoot, there actually isn't one in Anvil. Aw, shoot, it's daytime so I can't freakin' fast travel because I'm taking damage over time. Good thing Anvil isn't as FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE from the daggone witch that needs these soul gems!!!

OK, well, let me go look up where I can get alchemy ingredients. Surely there's more options than just the ones in the Imperial City. Aw, shoot, 4 of the 6 are in the dang Imperial City and I checked them all... well, fine. Clearly, I'm just gonna have to suck it up and go fight through some caves for these soul gems. AW DANGNABBIT ITS DAYTIME AGAIN

Back out to the witch's hut...OK, well, there's Crayfish Cave nearby. That's certainly underground and dungeouny-enough to have a soul gem, right? Aw, shoot, it's got a Will-o-Wisp and their hitbox is microscopic. My bow isn't gonna cut it, but my dagger isn't silver or enchanted. Oh, hey! Even if my magic is bare minimum, the bound dagger spell will deal decent damage? I never would have guessed, I figured Bound Weapons were for mage-types to use their higher magic stat to spawn a decent melee weapon in emergencies. Well, that'll work in a pinch, let me just fast travel to the Market DistrOH MY GOD HOW IS IT ALWAYS DAYTIME.

OK, got my bound dagger, back to the Crayfish Cave. I can even stick a poison on my enchanted blade and nnnnnope that got resisted and awww shoot when the spell wears off it very slowly unequips my dagger then very slowly equips my weapon and if I forget to switch off the bow and I'm spamming the attack key then then very slowly pulls out my bow and very slowly shoots one arrow weakly and the will o wisp has full healed in the time of that animation mother of pearl these will o wisps are absolutely no joke WHY ARE THERE TWO OF THEM!?

OK, sod it. I have 90 speed and nearly unlimited stamina. Run in, run around, find the soul gem and get out. This is what I leveled speed for. Initial D Ramen Delivery mode activate. Run around...through the Crayfish Cave and into the Capillaries. Back to the lobby to check out the vents...oh, hey, Soggy Bottom? That's a new area name and it wasn't in the lobby. SURELY THIS IS THE END OF THE CAVE SYSTEM. Run around Soggy Bottom kiting 6 (SIX!?) will-o-wisps, a rat, a troll I think? Is that a minotaur!? Yes, a minotaur, and god only knows what else. Run, run, chug potion, run, kite, jump, dodge...no soul gem. What do you mean no soul gem!? Argghhhhhhh okay run all the way back to town to despawn all this aggro I guess!?

I give up! I quit. I can't find the daggone soul gems that are SUPPOSED to be ALL AROUND the daggone witch's house! ...No, you know what? Let me look up this daggone Crayfish Cave, because I'm gonna be even more upset if I'm this daggone frustrated now and go ask for help and it turns out I just missed a door or something oh my god what the heck is a CRAYFISH STEEP you mean I DID MISS A DOOR and its right in the lobby and I managed to check every corner of this cave except the only one that matters oh god mother blessed freakin' okay fine! FINE!

Let me go vent and rant and rave and stretch my legs then I'll go out there one more time and go get this stupid soul gem and oh my gOD DOES THE SUN EVER SET!?