[2470] States of Living - chapter 1 draft WIP

I started work on this back in late December/early January and have since kind of gotten lazy with consistently working on this piece. My hope is that criticism will help spark some new motivation for me. Here is the link to the google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VIeyd8_nw0NrqtV4EWQaDGEydh5XhhNC5AHzhzI7JOY/edit?usp=sharing

If you would like to know as well I'll give a short summary of my idea for the final product: The idea is that this will become a 3-5 volume novel (or series) where each book is from the perspective of a different character in the same family. The first volume being mother, then father, then son, then (potentially) daughter. The Mother volume starts in her childhood, ending in young-adulthood or teens, overlapping with the Father volume when they meet. The Father volume will then continue into parenthood where the Son Volume will then take over. I hope I explained that well.

Anyway, dig in and nitpick away!!!

(for mods: here's a critique i did recently https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1lazu95/comment/mysmfsu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)