A Community That Understands Me

Hey y'all. I've been trying to process this whirlwind of an obsession I thought was true love for the last 15 years. In the past week finally stumbled onto the concept of limerence and I felt immediately seen.

My LO doesn't fit into the typical category since we were together for about 9 months my senior year of high school. They became my LO about a year after and it's never really stopped beyond the honeymoon phase of new relationships lasting maybe 3-6 months tops then it's back to fantasy land.

My LO might be intentionally breadcrumbing me. We are no contact as of now, they initiated it which they've done in the past. Then they come back and ask me to go to a concert of OUR favorite band (could an oblivious limerant say no??) Then we try "dating" for like A month, but then they pull away after I try to talk about clear boundaries and reasonable expectations. They say "I just wanna take things slow" but establishing what that means is "too much". When they start to leave I get all panicky and end up spilling my heart in hope that they stay. Rinse and repeat every few years.

I wan't the cycle to stop. Now that I have this community I might be able to.